Too much on my mind
Filed Under Family
How do I even begin?
I started with this post but couldn’t continue. And I started this post last night but I couldn’t finish. Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I need to blog about this to get things off my chest otherwise, I’d continue to have this nagging feeling. I’ll try to say this without being vengeful, I’ll TRY.
On Sunday night, I received a phone call from my sister. Though we saw her in the afternoon, she didn’t say anything and appeared normal. I even asked her about the bridal flowers, whether she still wanted to order them from my neighbour. The first thing that came out from her was “Ceh, I am sorry”. She was sobbing. I asked her why. Then she said “Ah Ken called off the wedding.” I was stunned. The wedding is scheduled precisely a month from today and he decides to call it off the eleventh hour? I asked her if he gave her a reason and she said “He wanted more freedom as he has yet to enjoy life to the fullest”.
All I can say is “WTF??” What else can I say? WTF, again!! Now he tells when the wedding is precisely a month away, when my sister has quit her job (upon his request) so that she could run around town preparing for the wedding and the visa application. So, sitting for her exams were also part of the reason why she quit her job but that is besides the point. The point is, everyone was ready especially my sister, to start a new life miles away from home, gave up her career (though she has just started), give up her family and friends to get married.
This is beyond “cold feet”. He had a week to think things properly. After a week, he was more adamant. He is determined not to get married. Really came as a shocker to me, for all of us actually cos he really isn’t the type to be unsure of what he wants and worst, at the last minute. Its very unlike him to pull a stunt like that.
But at the end of the day, what can we really do? I don’t know. Maybe you can tell me whether we should be angry or relieved? Relieved that this happened sooner rather than later when they are really married and he wants out. For once I thought this guy could be the right one for my sister after all her previous boyfriends being jerks. I think, this one is the KING of all jerks. Not only did he disappoint my sister, he disappointed his parents. His dad paid for the majority of the expenses and with the cancellation, he asked his dad to foot the cancellation charges as well. Which is why I say that this is very unlike him. He is more responsible than that. According to my sister, there have been reports from reliable sources that he has changed quite a bit this past month.
I’ve been brought up in a family that puts other needs above ours. My first instinct was of course angry but then I wanted to see point of view of things. Perhaps he is young, he just recently started to work. His mom pushed the wedding forward even before considering whether he was ready. He agreed out of respect. My sister isn’t exactly easy to handle. Our women folk can be demanding at times. Not in terms of material wealth but attention. So, lets not be too harsh. Then I thought, WTF, we have been thinking about how other people would feel all the time. Its about time we start to think for ourselves. If he wasn’t ready, he should’ve told his mom that he wasn’t. No one forced him. If he didn’t want to stay in Australia, he should’ve told his mom that he wants to come home after his studies instead of staying back. He is old enough to know what he wants out of life, where he wants to be, where he wants to head towards, what his goals are. He may be too young to get married to some and yes, I agree. In fact, they are both too young. Barely out of college for him and my sister has only been out in the working field less than 3 years. It was just a terrible mistake that they both did. Just jumped the gun without truly evaluating the realities of marriage. Somethings’ do happen for a reason and I suppose you could say that is a blessing in disguise that this happened before they take the plunge. That would’ve been a little TOO LATE!
