Archive for the ‘Funnies’ Category
Filed Under Funnies, Goss
The television is usually my second past time. Whenever I have the chance to relax and unwind, the tv is my best friend. So, yesterday afternoon, as usual I was on the tube, channel surfing as usual, I finally settled for Britney Spears. I know its kind of stale news but it’s always interesting to witness the harsh realities of life - that no one is perfect.
I am sure during her heydays, every girl wanted to be just like her or trade lives with her. She was so immaculately perfect in every way. Beautiful, great voice, all the men, all the cash…just about everything. Not even a pimple in sight. People would purposely get the top mp3 players so they could listen to her music. Girls would dress up like her. Boys would have pre-mature ejaculation just listening to her voice. She is that hot!
But you know, at the end of the day, its all on the surface. She wasn’t allowed to be unhappy. She was probably even coached to smile irregardless of her emotions on any given day. To look happy even when she was having pms. To go on stage even though her pet dog is sick. Day in and day out, she had to portray that perfect picture or perfect-ness. The kind of happiness you’d see on someone’s face when getting a sony mp3 player as a birthday gift from their loved ones.
Still, humans are mortal creatures. They will eventually succumb to the harsh realities of life. No amount of money or fame could save you from the evil that lurks. You will fall towards the dark side. And for Britney, the dark side was her ex-husband, Mr. “leech” and “loser” and “good for nothing” Federline. I mean, she fell hook, line and sinker for that bozo. Bought him plenty of material gifts to enhance his already bloated ego. And that well probably also included an apple ipod. That jerk!
You know, she may never be the same again. I mean, your body will never be the same after 2 pregnancies. That is the ultimate fact. But she’s young, she got rid of Mr. K-should’ve-amputated-his-weenie Fed. She needs to be strong for her kids and re-build her life. Most importantly, she needs to have that self-belief and self-confidence back. I, for one, would hope she does bounce back and prove everyone wrong. Even if its just for the heck of it!
Filed Under Funnies
“You look great”
“You’ve got your figure back after child-birth”
“I envy you, you look fantastic”
Can you see the thread? Its always whats outside a person isn’t it? I mean, especially when the compliment comes from another woman. Its like a sheer confirmed sign of validation that yes, you are indeed good-looking or you look great. Does not matter whether right there, in your medicine cabinet lies the bottles of diet pills that work or not. The fact is, you heard it from a woman, your peer, it must count for something.
I don’t think it has anything to do with what one woman thinks or feels about another. Praises and all are generally very well accepted in any instances. So, why does it mean more when someone from the same gender gives a compliment? It’s all about the bitchiness! I am serious. Think about it. We all bitch about other women, we hardly have anything good to say about another except about our friends. Even then, that is questionable. So it is that much harder to get a compliment from a woman than say compared to getting one from a man.
Men on the other hand aren’t natural born bitches. Although, the level has somewhat gone up these days for unknown reasons but still, they are pretty much laid back. Small body anatomy can always be compensated with material wealth, its no biggie. However, its not the same thing with a woman. Flashy cars will not be envied by another woman, only slimmer bodies will.
No one can ever explain this phenomenon. Well, who cares right? As long as I got the compliment I needed from my woman neighbor, I don’t even need to know the whole story of evolution. Really, I don’t!
Filed Under Funnies
Do you remember your wedding day? Or more precisely, your pre-wedding days? Anyways, I was having a chat with my cousin who is getting married end of this year. But before that, for us, we would always have the formality of taking the bridal studio pictures beforehand, sometimes, up to a couple of months before our wedding. And I related the story of my pre-wedding days to my cousin.
I was at the bridal studio trying out the dresses that they have. I had a few in mind and since I was way ahead of time for the scheduled photo shoot, I decided to go in a few times just to make sure that I love what I picked eventually. On the “fitting” day (thats the day where you actually pick your dress, confirm it and try it on so that the people at the bridal shop can make the necessary adjustments if needed to) I remembered I wore an old t-shirt coupled with my old and worn out bra. I wasn’t thinking when I woke up that day and had just put on what I felt comfortable in. As it turn out, there was a huge tear on the right side of my bra strap and the sight was so embarrassing since shop lady was also trying to help me with the dress..Gosh, I will always remember that day. So I told my cousin that before going for her “fitting” make sure she at least get some decent looking bridal lingerie prior to save herself from embarrassment, like me..:-(
Filed Under Funnies
Remember I was telling you about this guy friend who introduced the lady insurance agent to me hoping to get some business and I asked him if she was his girlfriend to which he said “no”? I was actually quite disappointed to hear that. Not because of the matter regarding insurance but because he is my last bachelor friend left in the group. God knows I have tried to hook him up. Either they were too tall (he’s quite short), too skinny, too fat, too noisy..the list goes on and on and on.
It’s not like he is a loner or that he gets tongue tied in front of girls. In fact, he used to be (still is) very socially active back in school. He was the one who was everybody’s “pet brother” during those days. His popular status with the girls was so famous that even the editor of his school year book honoured him with a special page for being the most desirable guy.
He was everywhere, at parties, school social functions. Everyone thought it was really cool to invite him to parties. His presence made their parties cool. It’s like, if he doesn’t show up, no one would want to go to your party. His endorsement is like the google pagerank. You need him to be there for people to even show up. He is that popular. Needless to say, he would be the guy who gets lots of flowers during Valentines, chocolates, letters from girl admirers. He was Mr. O’ Popular.
If I told you that he never ever had a girlfriend you would be shocked. How could a guy like him not been out on a date? It’s true. He hasn’t and even until now when most of us are already married with kids, he’s still partying like it was 1999. He has no difficulty in attracting beautiful woman. In fact, his friends used to seek his advice on how to get a girl. He was their dating guru. They even consulted him on how to write secret love letters. I wonder if he charged them a fee?
His problem was I think he knew too much. He knew how to pick up a beautiful woman with ease. He then became bored. There’s no longer the challenge. There was not a single woman that rejected his advances. Once he gets hold of them, he drops them in a flash. Oh my God!! I think he is gay!!
Filed Under Funnies, Blogging
“S” is for Sexy Shireen
The beautiful Helen tagged me on this and of course, how can I resist? This is a fun meme..
Rules : Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. Must be places, names…Nothing made up. Can’t use own name for boy/girl’s name question. If can’t answer, skip to next one.
1. Famous Singer: Shakira
2. Four Letter Word: Suck
3. Street: Simpang Empat
4. Colour: Silver
5. Gifts/Present: Sling Bag
6. Vehicle: Subaru
7. Things in Souvenir Shop: Spoon (decorative ones)
8. Boy Name: Sean
9. Girl Name: Soleil
10. Movie title: Serendipity
11. Drink: Shake
12. Occupation: Stripper
13. Celebrity: Sarah Michelle Geller
14. Magazine: Seventeen (I dig, ok)
15. U.S. City: Seattle
16. Pro Sports: Soccer
17. Fruit: Strawberry
18. Reason for Being Late to work: Sleepy (after sex)
19. Something you throw away: Shit
20. Something you shout: Shaik-zen
21. Cartoon Character: Smur-fette
Will stop here for now. However, if you’d like, you could do it and let me know 
